Thursday, April 9, 2009

Theme Thursday-Egg (Egg Hoax Case Uncovered)





Egg Hoax Case Uncovered

In March of 2001, I was talking to my sister, Tami, at work. I told her that I had just learned that one can balance an egg on end during the spring equinox, the first day of spring. So, we decided to try it even though the idea sounded rather far-fetched. With enthusiasm, we began our egg balancing trials. After a number of attempts, Eureka! We had success! We passed off this information to one of our coworkers, Jeanne. She told her husband Bill. Bill, in turn, told all of his coworkers. Egg erections spiked to staggering proportions on this particular equinox.


Photo: byakuya92 photobucket.com

My sister and I made up a joke article: Egg-balancing: Facts and Fiction. In this case, it was mostly fiction. But we truly believed what we had been told. That as the equinox is a time of balance, equal day and night, this is the only time eggs would stand. We faxed it to Bill's office. I can't remember the entire gag. Its been too long. But, I'm sure it was very funny. We are quite creative and thorough when it comes to mischievous endeavors. He spent several days informing coworkers, family and customers of this wondrous magical trick that could only be accomplished one day of the year. And then, we discovered that eggs will balance on end any day of the year. Most importantly, HE, discovered that the trick will work any time. What follows is his response (retaliation) to our practical, albeit, unintentional joke about egg standing.

Egg Hoax Case Uncovered

Current investigations of Redding's Egg Hoax case have uncovered a devious scam, planned and implemented by two Redding sisters, to undermine and destroy a prominent Redding businessman's good name and credibility. The aforementioned sisters, both of whom are employed by a prominent Palo Cedro doctor, purposely and mischievously, masterminded and carried out the hoax causing Redding businessman, Bill Casparino, to lose face and credibility with co-workers and family in a plot uncovered by Redding's own EMPLOYMENT ADVERSARIAL THREAT, SCAM & HOAX INTERVENTION TEAM, EATSHIT. EATSHIT said today that the sisters did, in fact, plan to destroy Mr. Casparino's reputation by intentionally feeding him falsified information regarding the vernal equinox egg standing fallacy. The malicious leader of the two, Ronda Laveen, accomplished this dastardly feat by deviously manipulating a member of Mr. Casparino's family to feed him this false information. Mrs. Laveen, who could not be reached for comment, has reportedly purported these sorts of heinous crimes in the past, according to SCREW YOU.

SHASTA COUNTY'S REGIONAL ETHICAL WOMAN'S YEARLY OPPROBRIOUS UNDERTAKINGS, is a watchdog group dedicated to exposing such characters as Mrs. Laveen. SCREW YOU has has previously reported that the pair have distributed falsified documents in the past. "There is a distinct lack of class emanating from these two sisters," SCREW YOU told us today. "They should be banished from the public view," said Mr. Casparino speaking from his newly formed anti-hoax crime associations headquarters in Redding. The association known as, UP YOURS, or UNITED PERSONS YAHWEH OVERSEES UMPEEN RETRIBUTION SOCIETY. "It truly is a crime that my credibility has weakened some and I vow to continue to fight for the restoration of my good name."

"I will fight to the death to clear my name," said an angry, but determined, Mr. Casparino as he was surrounded by a large, cheering crowd of supportive friends outside of UP YOURS headquarters. "I may bend but I will not break," Mr. Casparino shouted to supporters today.

Also on hand to support Mr. Casprarino, was the nationally know Washington,
D.C. based, and powerfully connected political action lobbyist group, PAAB, PAYBACKS ARE A BITCH. "With our unlimited monetary fund and hundreds of thousands of members, those two women just don't stand a chance. They will serve restitution of Mr. Casparino's good name," said their spokesman and founder, Harry "The Hitman" Genovese. Mr. Casparino was last seen being driven away in a large, black limousine with Mr. Genovese and the Godfather.

Reporting for the Record Searchlight with truth, liberty, and justice for all emanating from my pores, Captain America.


Laveen's notes: Well done, Bill. I applaud your gene Se qua. But keep your one good eye and your egg standing hand at ready 'cause, I, too, am a card carrying member of PAAB. Happy Passover!

37 comments:

Mrsupole said...

That was a pretty good report about those two sisters. Strange how one has your name. I englarged the picture first and read it, then I read what you wrote. I guess you could say he won round one of PAA. But I really think that since then, you have gotten him back more times then he knows.

Thanks for sharing, this was great reporting from Screw You. Can I have a PAAB card too?

Ronda Laveen said...

Sherry: Yes, the deceiver with the same name as mine is very unusual. Your PAAB card is in the mail!

tut-tut said...

Ha! egg-cellent post. sorry, I couldn't resist.

Brian Miller said...

lol. awesome post. love a good practical jokes. nice response. PAAB member, sign me up.

Avid Reader said...

So ... YOU were the brains behind the great egg hoax! Falsified documents! The egg industry has got to be behind this in some way...blame them--they used you! duped you! it wasn't your fault. They are so powerful...

Candie Bracci said...

LOL great post Ronda!

mary said...

This is too funny -I love a good story and the fact that it was responded to in kind....good players all around

subtorp77 said...

Ronda, LMAO! I had to re-read it! Very clever :)

reyjr said...

"...keep your egg standing!" hahaha...

willow said...

I forgot about that egg equinox thing. Always forget to try.

Wings said...

Very funny! Talk about one heck of a joke! hahahaha

Anonymous said...

From the office ESU (Egg Standers United):

We stand united in our cause. We will never break or crack.We will use all the Kings horses and all of his men and put this blasphemous barrage of anti egg standing critics to rest once and for all.

P.S. My omlet was delicious this morning.

BC

Colette Amelia said...

This is a great example that a higher intelligence does exist! Great story!

Ronda Laveen said...

tut-tut: Thanks for eggs-tolling the virtue of my post.

Brian: Done correctly, practical jokes require refined touch and total commitment. Your PAAB card is also in the mail.

Ronda Laveen said...

Avid Reader: You are SO right. I was used. I was duped by the Ovum Industry. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Just between you and me, I'm using that payola cash for a breast lift.

Candie: Glad to brighten your day.

Mary: This was well played wasn't it. Can you tell there is not a lot of entertainment here?

Subtrop77: I LMAO too...once I figured out what the acronym stood for. It was a head scratcher for a minute.

Reyjr: You've got it...a pointed salute.

Willow: I always look forward to egg standing. I often practice off season too.

Wings: Yes, it is a heck of a joke. Did you notice that it originally began in 2001. If nothing else, I am patient.

Anonymous: I love the ESU, Egg Standers United, mission statement.

Colette: Higher intelligence is alive and well. And believe me, now that I have again rung the bell, I know that when I least expect it PAAB will answer the door!

Marianna said...

Ha ha ha :-) lol

Ok I'll re-read but I found that creative and hillarious lol Great TT post!

Take care
xoxo

DineometerDeb said...

What a clever post! I will refrain from egg puns though.

Tom said...

Hilarious... but i can never get an egg to stand up...

Michael Rawluk said...

Eggcellent post.

Baino said...

Haha eggsellent. I did try to do it this morning but couldn't make it work. I guess it has to be exactly on the first day of spring . .perhaps it's because it's autumn here. I did manage however to make a mocha hot cross bun vanish! Tops post!

Rinkly Rimes said...

I'd try it, but I have very poor fine motor skills and I can't afford to work my way through a whole dozen!

Ronda Laveen said...

Marianna, Michael and Deb: Glad you enjoyed.

Tom, Rinkly and Baino: It takes a little practice but it is quite possible. I have the best luck with room temp eggs.

Dakota Bear said...

Very interesting story. I never tried balancing an egg on end. Maybe I'll try tomorrow.

California Girl said...

I have heard that story for years but never thought it true at all...never tried it either. You are intrepid. I did spend an evening at a hotel bar, away on business, and watched the bartender force an egg into a glass too small w/o breaking it but I can't remember the trick. Too much to drink!

lettuce said...

excellently entertaining

brilliant acronyms

tony said...

A Lot Of People were left with egg on their Face? Yes!I want a card too!

Evening Light Writer said...

Hilarious Ronda! I'd heard that somewhere myself but never believed it. Was this actually published in a newspaper or just one of Bill's creations? So funny, you must be a trickster. Maybe I could pass this over on one of my family members next equinox.

Ronda Laveen said...

DB & CG: It is possible to stand eggs any day of the year just takes a little practice and I get best results with room temp eggs. Bar tricks are better with a wee bit too much drink.

Lettuce: He was certainly working hard to make those acronyms work wasn't he.

Tony: ...egg on their face...very funny. You are definitely getting a card.

Mindy: No, it wasn't really published in the paper. Bill just created it to look like it was. He went to extraordinary lengths for this PAAB. I think your family would enjoy.

Dot-Com said...

Practical jokes are fun - egg-cellent post!

Cuppa Jo said...

LOL. That's too funny.

sparkzspot said...

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Megan said...

Funny, funny stuff. I like Bill's riposte!

And yes, please send my PAAB card post haste!

Kris said...

Who knew?!?

Jen said...

Too Funny. Payback should be interesting!! LOL.

Jen said...

I meant to add that I love your header picture and quote - especially since spring is taking it's time in getting here this year!

Reya Mellicker said...

That's funny. Like you I tend to believe until something is proven untrue.

Love your new banner! Wow it's so exotic!

Ronda Laveen said...

Cuppa, Dot-com, sparkzspot: Glad you enjoyed. Thanks so much.

Megan: Your card is in the mail.

Kris: Apparently not many, knew.

Jen and Reya: Yes, initially I believed that the only time of year to stand eggs was equinox until I thought about it. I am glad you like the banner. I see these bushes on my may to work every day at an old folks home. The colors just looked so dramatic that day.