Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And the Winner is...





Okay, so this is my nominee for Actress of the Year to date. Dalia Dippolito, in the Boynton Beach Babe. A newlywed, she allegedly hired a hit man to kill her husband, Michael. I know that marriage can sometimes be a drag, but really, do you need to take a hit out on the schmuck? I think she paid somewhere around $4,000 for someone to cap his a**. Turned out the "hit man" was an undercover cop. Where did she find him? Craig's list? In my opinion, bargain shopping for a hit man is like bargain shopping for eye surgery, just not worth the risk. The price point should have been her first clue that things would not go well. I don't know the going rate, but I would think that a top-rate killer, who can get the job done AND keep his mouth shut, would charge at least $10,000.

Now, I'm not saying her husband didn't deserve it because I don't know. More information is coming out about him and he's not so squeaky clean either. He did a couple of years in prison for Grand Theft and Organized Fraud. Right now, his lawyers are saying there is no connection between the hit and his priors, but it certainly makes me wonder.

I have been married over 30 years and I can honestly say I've never thought about putting out a contract on my mate. There are times he makes me feel passionately in love, just in love, in like, lukewarm, indifferent, ticked-off, thinking about how nice it would be to show him the door, wanting to send him to the moon, and then back to passionate again. Sometimes my emotions can range through these levels in a matter of hours. I'm sure that R feels the same way about me.



Really, what would it take for you to send out a hitter on your mate and what is the going rate these days? Holy Moley, I know we're in a recession but, she paid four grand and is surprised when her stair-stepping buns get hauled to jail? Nice try Boynton Beach Babe.

12 comments:

Dave King said...

I have to confess that I have not seen the film - and don't think I've seen Dalia Dippolito! (As you might surmise I am not a great film buff though I used to be.) I think I'd like to see this one, though.

subtorp77 said...

I saw this on CNN @4 in the morn', at work ( or was it that B.H.L.- Nancy Grace? ) When the kid wouldn't change the channel, I walked out. I mean how many replays can you do( of her grating "sobbing" ) in a 5 minute spot? 'Tis no wonder I don't watch telly....

Brian Miller said...

i don't think i hav even thought of capping my wife...four grand is a steal though...craigslist...hmmm...seriously, messed up...

Baino said...

Ah yes, saw this on the news here. Not the sharpest tool in the shed now is she? Not me. I couldn't kill a fly . .well maybe a fly!

Eternally Distracted said...

I think I'd be pretty annoyed if that's all my life was worth! Next time I annoy my partner I will point out that a hitman needs to be paid something more substantial ... The woman's wailing was nearly as interesting as the Police reactions! :0)

Leah said...

Ronda, this is just too hilarious. I think we need to make you a current events reporter--I would absolutely tune back into the news if it were you giving your spin!!! This is just too funny.

I love your rundown on the emotions of a 30-year marriage. Oh does that ring wonderfully true.

xo

Megan said...

Can't watch it from work but I will later. :)

I'm always flabbergasted when I hear a story like this. Some people seem to think that life really IS like the Sopranos, or CSI, or Law & Order, I guess???

Ronda Laveen said...

Dave: I could only wish this were a movie but unfortunately it is real life. I just made up the name Boynton Beach Babe. This little lady actually tried to do this to her new hubby.

Subby: I totally agree. They played the clip over and over again of her fake sobbing. It just makes the entire incident even more annoying.

Brian: I know what you mean. I have never thought about dusting my man out of existence by professional means.

Baino: You got that right. She's definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. And that fly probably had it coming.

Eternally Distracted: You are so totally right. We need to demand respect from our vengeful mates. They need to have it done well or not at all. No cut rate silencing for me!

Leah: Truly, there is nothing funnier, sadder or more real than the world around us. Yeah, let's be honest about the relationship thing, some times you feel like you feel and not how people say you should.

Megan: I think her life is going to more like Boston Legal or Raising the Bar now.

Reya Mellicker said...

I don't believe in killing another person for any reason.

My mother used to say - and I agree - that it should be really difficult to get married, but very simple to get divorced. Maybe that would help folks get out of these crazy loops.

Ronda Laveen said...

Reya: I wish I could have met your mother. She was a very, VERY wise woman.

Mrsupole said...

I cannot think right now, but isn't there a country that the husband just has to announce in public that he divorces you, I think three times and then you are divorced. Why can't the women do it too. I think it is one of those countries that supresses women's rights. But anyway wouldn't that be the ticket. Then when you are not mad anymore you can say I remarry you three times and wa la you are back together.

But I would also think due to inflation that it would at least cost $25,000.00 to hire a really good hit man. So just DIY and save the money. I think I am like Reya and do not think I could ever kill someone unless it was self defense, and I know what you mean about the wide spectrum of feelings for one's spouse. He is the only one that I can feel that way about. And yup I am sure he feels the same feelings for me. But I guess that is true love because only the people that you really love can make you feel so many things. Although your children during their teenage years can make you feel a whole other range of emotions. So glad when they grow up.

God bless.

Ronda Laveen said...

Sherry: you are so right! If you're not gonna roll out the dough for a pro, the hit should be a DIY project. Maybe they would do a segment?