Communication Breakdown

Another Mercury retrograde is upon us. It began on September 7th and its effects will continue to be felt until around mid-October when things will straigten out. Mercury usually goes retrograde three times a year but, this year, it will turn four times. This seems to be an unusual year all the way around. This summer, we also had three eclipses in two months instead of the usual two.

Areas of communication, Internet, travel, mail and appointments can get tricky to negotiate. This retrograde is in Libra, so it is a time of introspection and an opportunity to work on relationships, harmony and style. As I am still dealing with some of the gliches from the retrograde in May, I have some trepiditon about this one. But retrogrades also give us the chance to revisit old patterns or problems. I am going to take this to mean this is a good time to further workout ongoing snafus. Yeah, that's how I'm going to look at it.

So far, I notice communication issues rising. Last night I got home after 9 p.m. The husband tells me that Muffy called and wants me to sub on the pool team at the local sports bar on Wednesday night. I tell him I don't know a Muffy and I certainly don't play pool well enough to be on their team. He tells me he didn't think so but, maybe I had a secret life he didn't know about. After nearly 35 years of marriage, I tell him I don't think I have any secrets left but, if I did, I would make sure they were more notorious than alcohol fueld, covert pool playing.

Meanwhile, he is having communication issues of his own. He got a new cell phone in July. The number, apparently, previously belonged to a very popular, teenage cheerleader. Every Saturday night, the darn thing starts chirping like a hungry baby bird. He gets voice mails and text messages wanting to know when he is going to be ready to go out? Does he want to go to the party? They tell him what time to arrive at the movies.

I think he gets more action now than he did in his heyday. Oops, incoming text message: he's just been informed of the time for cheerleading practice. I ask him if he's going. He tells me that the thought of a pre-60 year old man showing up to cheerleading practice with a bunch of young girls in short skirts just plain creeps him out. While feeling grateful for this, I look at him with my squinty-eye and try to imagine him, wearing a baseball cap, pocket T-shirt, pleated skirt topping square-kneed, hairy legs, white crew socks and Birkentstock's, shaking pom-poms. Nahhh...shudder, shudder.

I look over at him and he's asleep in his chair. That's my man! I think: Hey, husband, wake up! The party hasn't even started yet. Shoot, we only have 6 more weeks of this stuff. This retrograde is over just as football season is ending and just in time for you to start basketball cheerleading practice. Rah, rah, sis boom ba.