Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Cougar, the Other "C" Word!

Photo: danger515 Photobucket. com

The word Cougar has been splashed around the media lately. A cougar is an older women who dates a younger man. While older men are lauded and revered--mainly by other men--for dating younger partners, females are often subjected to ridicule for the same. The word cougar invokes the image of a predatory female stalking its prey. Conversely, men, often called silver foxes, are portrayed as wise and handsome rather than cold and predatory. Cougar has a cacophonous, harsh sound to it just like the other word for a strong female that starts with a "C" and rhymes with bunt. This other "C" word has been unacceptable in public speech since the 1500's.

Photo: callinradio Photobucket.com

I am not, nor have ever been, a Cougar but I did drive one for a long time. I loved her. She was very sleek and fast. When I slammed her accelerator to the floor, her four-barrel carburetor would give quick response. When she kicked in, yeah, that cat would run. She ate pavement and spat it out for miles behind her. She was worth every penny I paid over the years for speeding tickets. Miss Cougar always commanded respect, even from the ticket writing officers. They would walk around her admiring her long, low, lean lines, pin stripes, glossy black tires and sequential tail lights. They already new how fast she ran, they'd given her chase for miles. They would tell me of the best girls they had left at home--their Mustang's, Camaro's, and Chevy's. And when I asked them if they drove them fast, they would shake their head no, but a knowing twinkle would spark in their eyes. Yeah, she got respect...like a good Cougar should.

But alas, in a speed-lust frenzy, I decided to sell her for a newer, faster model. I had my eye on a Mitsubishi 3000 GT Twin Turbo VR4. Miss Cougar's rear end had a tendency to chatter and break loose a bit when taking corners at over 90 MPH. The 3000 would just lay down, hug the road tighter, beg for more and I would give it to her. So we looked for a new home for the cat. A young man in his mid-20's fell in love with her. He said he would take care of her. He said he would respect her. He said he would give her a good home. We wanted to believe him.

A few months ago, when my husband came home from work, he was very sad. He told me that while he had been out at the wrecking yard that morning, he had run into an old friend. Worriedly, I asked him what was wrong. He said he'd seen a horrible sight. As he walked to the back of the yard, he passed a twisted, crumpled mass of metal. He thought, what a waste, nothing salvageable in that heaping knot. Then he saw it. A of flash of paint...her paint. Miss Cougar, hardly recognizable and broken beyond repair, had not even one part left worthy of harvest and transplant. She'd rolled to the end of the road, worth nothing but the flat rate paid for scrap iron. We spoke of how we should never have let her go. We lit a candle.

I do not like this word Cougar as a term for females. It is used derogatorily and does not infer respect. From this moment on, I will use the word swan to denote a woman in such a relationship. In my opinion, any woman who undertakes the precarious nature of such a relationship, walks in grace. But this is a cautionary tale. A warning to the swans I so admire. Be careful in your involvement with these young men. They are full of promises, hopes and dreams, and high-energy. But in their passion and over eagerness, they can, all too easily, loose control of a fast, high revving, hot engine. Take heed that your front end doesn't end up mangled and your rear end wrapped around a telephone pole. Take a lesson from Miss Cougar.

Photo: mikeja.com Photobucket.com


Mrsupole said...

I like the name Swan. Swans are beautiful and graceful. I think the Swans who are with younger men are just fine. I too do not know any. And I think they should stop using derogatory names when they talk about women dating younger men. They should just focus on who she is, not what she is.

Plus I hate when they say that women have wrinkles, but men have character. I think that someone realized they could make a lot of money off of women trying to look young. And most women have spent a lot of money trying when we should just be growing older gracefully, like a swan.

That was also a great story about your car. Very sad that the kid did not take care of her. I hope no one got hurt in the accident. I miss some of my powerful cars that I have had. I think that sometimes our cars just grow old and want to be retired. But not the way your car was forced into retirement.

Is that a picture of your car? Thank you for the story about her.

God bless.

Books,Coffee,etc.... said...

Hi! Ronda,
I don't drive...unfortunately, but fortunately,
I stopped by your blog to read this cautionary tale!...Like Mrsupole, I too...believe that this society is "obsessed" with "double standards"...Go figure!

...In the end, I'am so sorry to hear about your car..."The Cougar," but you "mourned" her demise, double standards should always be challenged,...and hopefully, the kid learned a lesson...

(But, like Mrsupole, said,"I hope no one was hurt in the accident too.")

Thanks for sharing!
DeeDee ;-o

otin said...

When I was young, I always hoped to drive a cougar! OH! You are talking about cars, I liked those cougars also, LOL, I knew a guy that restored and collected them, they were awesome looking!

Brian Miller said...

wow. this one went several places but ties so well together. felt the bite in the heart when hubs found the cougar. sure it was replete with memories. as far as the swans...i like how you affirmed and warned. too many times we only give one of the two. find love swans, tis a wonderful thing. great job ronda

tony said...

I have never heard this use of the word Cougar.Yes,I think "Swan" is better.Cougar conjures up an image of the predatory.....which is (usually)Plain Wrong.
Its still the case I guess that Its one Rule for Older Blokes & Another for Women.
P.S. Nice Motor!

Candie Bracci said...

Claps!Love that post!The car is great!And about women,yes we are all swans!Why should there be a different feeling along with it for a man and a woman?This is the same,no?I never understood that!
Have a nice day!

Leah said...

The story about the Cougar in the wrecking yard is tragic, absolutely tragic!

I too hate the term "cougar" applied to a woman--prefer your "swan"--but I confess, I love the bunt with a c word and use it every chance I get (just not around my daughter). It's such a very vivid word!

Anonymous said...

Hi Ronda. I had no clew the other "C" word went back that far. Ad I don't much care for the use of "cougar" to describe a female, unless it's the one in the above pic. Ad I've even heard the term Double-cougar and Triple-cougar..live on the radio( one more reason I've since boy-cotted radio ).

I've heard some of the Brits use the work "Duckie". I think I'd prefer "swan", tho'...

And if you will, please light a candle for my former '58 Chevy Nomad...I share your grief...

Anna said...

Rhonda, do you have any pictures of your adorable self in that super awesome car?

Ronda Laveen said...

Sherry: I had forgotten that saying about women having wrinkles and men having character. So telling of our society. I don't know if anyone was hurt when the Cougar got crashed. I truly hope not.

DeeDee: I'm sure he learned a heck of a lesson. I just hope he didn't have to learn it more than one.

Otin: I'm sure you did:)

Brian: Thanks. The compliment means a lot to me as it comes from you. I only hope we can all live together in love--young or old, regardless of color or gender. Isn't that all there truly is?

Tony: Yes, here, across the pond, the term cougar has been used for nearly a year. I loved the qualifier "usually" you applied to your comment.

Subby: I've never heard of the double and triple cougar. I'm trying to imagine what that means. Oh, no! Not the Nomad! (moment of silenc)(no, 5 minutes of silence on that one).

Anna: Mmm, I'll have to look for pictures of me and that car. My pictures all in disarry at the moment as I'm trying to sort.

Candi: You are right, we are all swans.

Leah: I applaud your right to profane as you wish. I find something freeing about watching someone unleash a well spoken blue streak rant.

Reya Mellicker said...

I think that the cougar thing is very hip and trendy right now. When I see someone named "cougar" on the E channel, it's always some babe. I don't hear it as derogatory. Interesting difference in perception, eh?

Linda Pendleton said...

I think using the word cougar is a put-down. Swan is nice.

It is hard to see immaturity through a frosted windshield, especially when one does not want to turn on the defrosters. LOL

Ronda Laveen said...

Reya: The difference in perception is interesting. I may be over sensitive as I take anything Cougar related, to heart. Oh, the duality of our universe:)

Linda: Loved your last sentence. It is so true that we only see what we want to see, when we want to see it.

Megan said...

I don't know, I always think of swans as being rather ineffectual things - pretty and all, but not good for much else. But that's just me!

But I can't stand the use of the word cougar. It makes my teeth ache. I'm with you all the way on that one. Especially since I'm single, and starting to get pretty darned wrinkly! ;)

Ronda Laveen said...

Megan: Perhaps swan isn't a good word. We, most of us anyway,certainly aren't ineffectual. I was having a hard time with, if not cougar, then what?

Damn those wascally wrinkles.

Dave King said...

Incredible, why didn't I know about cougars when I was younger?

Baino said...

Cougar schmoogar! And they get to be 'Sugar Daddies' . . .I have no objection to the odd Toyboy at all . .and I'm partial to a Manbag (that's not derogatory is it?) Haha . . fun post. I should be so lucky!

Evening Light Writer said...

Whenever a woman is insulted, the person always goes for her sexuality or her looks. I can't roll my eyes enough when I see stupid shows like "The Cougar." What a double standard, I mean who'd want an imature guy anyways. Heck, I'm 25 years old and 20 something guys get on my nerves so bad. If a 40+ woman wants to put up with that I say go right ahead, be my guest!

Okay..I'm off my soap box now!

I'm sorry about Miss Cougar, her spirit lives on with you...

The Silver Fox said...

I like the idea of older women pairing off with younger men. That leaves the older men and younger women to pair off with each other. Everybody wins.

Now, as for that "silver fox" designation for older men...

Christina said...

I have no problems with the term 'cougar'. I find it flattering. The cat is simply beautiful to me. I wasn't aware that you had to actually DATE a younger man in order to be a 'real' cougar - I thought being sexually interested (and interesting) at a certain age was enough.
Jeez, now I just don't know if I'll ever graduate from what I am working on: granola cougar in training! xD

I am very sorry about Miss Cougar.

Ronda Laveen said...

Dave:I'm not sure they had cougars when we were younger. I think they called them: Mrs. Robinson in our day.

Baino: Manbag vs. Cougar...sounds like a WWF, World Wrestling Federation, match up!

Mindy: They have a Cougar show? I had no idea!

SF: The silver fox reference was just for you!

Christina: Yes, I believe an "offical cougar" must be actually dating a younger man. Can I get a ruling on that? Re: granola cougar...practice, practice, practice:)

The Silver Fox said...

Awwwww, you li'l doll!

Christina said...

*Mrreow!* ;)

Definitely a worthwhile goal! :D