Thursday, June 18, 2009

Saturday Night Life (Theme Thursday...Roof)


What a beautiful Saturday, summer evening, I think as I walk out to the mailbox to get the post. Out of the brown, metal box, I retrieve a hand full of the usual bills, advertisements and magazines. Flipping through the pieces as I return to the house, the picture on the cover of the magazine stops me in my tracks. Literally. Staring back at me from the cover of The AARP Magazine is actor/director, Ron Howard. HOLY MOLEY! Little Opie, from The Andy Griffith Show, is old enough to be on the cover of a senior rag. We are the same age. Is it not bad enough that I face the monthly reality of my Methuselahism when this buggering magazine arrives? Apparently not! Now I have to acknowledge that I, and the Richie Cunningham of Happy Days that I grew up with, are models of senior citizenry--waiting for a Viagra moment.


When did this happen? How did this happen? Wasn't it only yesterday that I was looking forward to who was on the cover of Rolling Stone? I mean, brown sugar, is Mick Jagger next month's cover feature? And this isn't the only thing that's bothering me about this whole gig. There is something else zinging around in the back of my bio-computer's gray matter like a firefly that I can't quite catch. What is it? Continuing my walk to the house, wearing long ago memories as if they were yesterday's clothes, I wonder if my peppy, young person's, bouncy step has turned into the "little, ol' lady shuffle." Fearing so, I pick up my feet and clip along with a saucy sashay.


And then...that firefly of a thought? I slap it to the wall like a mosquito to an arm. The cover of The AARP Magazine reminds me of MAD magazine. These two men on the covers look so similar they could be twins. What is going on here?

Just for a moment, my world goes black and I hear only a high-pitched buzzing in my ears which turns into singing.

Don't worry 'cause I'm a comin'
I'm a
soul man...

"John is that you?," I ask.


"That's right, kiddo it's John Belushi. Live from the Bardo state, It's Saturday Night!


What the freak?

Of all the beings in all the galaxies in all the universes that I could channel, I get John Belushi. He tells me to type the name belonging to the man featured on the cover of MAD into the search bar on the computer:

A-l-f-r-e-d--E.--N-e-u-m-a-n.

I read the search engine hits and learn that Alfred E. Neuman is MAD magazine's "What -- Me Worry?" kid. He's a young man with a thatched roof of red hair, large ears and a gap-toothed, goofy-grin.


John says, "Give me 10 little, chocolate donuts and an eight ball of cocaine, and I'll tell you the secret connection between Opie and Alfred E."



Well, I don't have an eight ball, but I really want that secret, so I tell John that unlike him, I like being in my body and swore off all that stuff years ago. He starts fussin' with me, tellin' me I'm not gonna get that secret if I don't share the blow. I stand my ground. I'm not punting my karmic orbit for some ol' 12-Step dropout. Finally, he sees it my way and we start to parlay. I raise the 10 chocolate donuts to 20 and add a cheeseburger with a Coke. He tells me Pepsi--no Coke, and we have a deal.


"First off, Ron Howard and Alfred are the same age, 55. Do you think it's a coincidence?," John asks.



Thinking for a minute, I consider how much they look alike, I sez
,"You mean..."


"Yeah,"
says Belushi."In the most magnificent
Face/Off in history, Alfred E. rose off the illustrated page like the pointer on a Ouija Board and took on the physical appearance of Ron Howard."


"But why?,"
I ask
.


"Well, he's a tricky one and is hard to read. But he detests being a one dimensional, paper boy and he plans to take over the world."
says John
.


I have to agree. Who's going to believe you're going to become the world sovereign when you're considered a carefree, idiotic paper doll--a pawn of "The Man." Before he leaves, Belushi makes the bargain good by giving me this extra special bonus secret.


"There are two other casualties of Neuman's deviltry that I will share with you. The next time you have an opportunity to see Charles, Prince of Wales and ABC newsman Ted Koppel, look closely. All is not as it seems."


I have to say, this explains a lot to me.


Toga flapping in the wind, John begins spinning his teleport cells faster and faster as he readies to head back to Ether World. I, being the generous sort, toss him a thank you pack of Little Debbie cookies as he departs. I guess he turned out to be a pretty good channel after all and I marvel at how I get by with a little help from my friends.

44 comments:

otin said...

LMAO! John Belushi? You were channeling John Belushi! HAHAHA! I am sorry, but that is hysterical to me! LOL!

Brian Miller said...

wow. are you sure about the eight ball? lol. used to sit and read about the boy under the roof of red. great references to your days gone past. you have got some spunk in you, so don't grip the AARP too tightly. smiles.

The Silver Fox said...

Incredibly imaginative mix of celebrities there, Ronda!

mary said...

amazing - once again
how do you sleep ?

Leah said...

This is absolutely hilarious.

Alfred E. Neuman does seem to be separated at birth from a most alarming number of figures--of which I've long thought Big Opie was one!

Candie Bracci said...

CLAPS!!!I just love it!It's original and funny!It's wicked!Have a nice day :)

Liza said...

ROFL...reading MAD magazines mad me feel so cool and naughty. What an original story. BTW, Is the Belushi Channel digital?

Wings said...

When you were sashaying up the walk, did you trip and hit your head? hahahahaha

Quite the creative post!

subtorp77 said...

Ronda fantastic mix of celebs and music references :) Great story!

VE said...

Channeling Belushi eh? Must be cable...
Great TT post!

Roy said...

Of course Alfred E. looks like all those different people! He is, after all, the fabled "Everyman". Me personally, I always thought he was the First Chimp's separated-at-birth twin; have you ever noticed the almost identical resemblance of Dubya and Alfred E? It's uncanny!

Rita said...

Somehow I missed the connection to Roof's but your narrative had the Old Salt rolling on the floor. He is such a collector of words and I bet that Methuselahism will be is favorite new one for a while.

Great job.

Ronda Laveen said...

Otin: I'm tellin' ya, strange things are a happening in the Wonderland lately. At first it freaked me out, but then spendin a little time with ol' John is kind of cool.

Brian: Yeah, The next time I see John, I'm going to let him take it back to Ether World.

Kate Hanley said...

Great post. Add some levity to the day!

willow said...

OMG, we're all getting OLD! Help! Now, about the roof connection...did I miss it?

Ronda Laveen said...

SF: Thanks.

Mary: The sleeping room has been pretty crowded lately. I've been getting this stream of consciousness thing going on.

Leah: It is uncanny how Alfred E. is so like many that we know. Howdy Doody is another one.

Candie: You got it. I was in a wicked funny mood.

Liza: The Belushi Channel is more Quantum than digital.

To All: will someone please tell me what ROFL stands for?

Wings: Ha! Who said you don't have a sense of humor? Maybe that's what happened. I fell, hit my head and had a dream sequence like "Dallas."

Subby: Thank you.

VE: No, more like the "Ether" Net.

Roy: I didn't know Alfie was considered the "Everyman." I will have to check out Dubya's connection to him.

Rita: The connection to roof was in this paragraph: I read the search engine hits and learn that Alfred E. Neuman is MAD magazine's "What -- Me Worry?" kid. He's a young man with a thatched roof of red hair, large ears and a gap-toothed, goofy-grin.

Kate: That's exactly right! Ol' John was definitely levitating.

The Silver Fox said...

ROFL = Rolling On the Floor Laughing. (Extended version, "ROFLMAO," = "Rolling On the Floor Laughing My @$$ Off!")

The Silver Fox said...

Roy (and all interested parties): If you want to visit a website featuring our former Commander-in-Chimp's similarity to certain primates, try this one: http://www.bushorchimp.com/

Baino said...

You serious? You channel? How very very cool . . I might have some work for you. Great post, very funny and I'm glad you didn't succumb to the doughnuts. Poor Ron . .he's older than me and I'm as old as Methuselah. Really weird but Clare and I were watching Video Hits and they had a whole playlist of Blues Brother's songs . .so much fun!

dreamhaven said...

Liked the walk down memory lane. In the 50's myself. Who ever said they could get older? They didn't ask MY permisson.

Linda Pendleton said...

Oh, that's funny.

Ronda Laveen said...

Baino: Well, I've never really channeled before but when I was writing this, I was not going this direction with Howard/Neuman. But I have to tell you, Belushi kept coming up over and over and it was like I was having this arguement (debate with him). You can not even imagine how weird my dreams were last night. Sometime I'll write it down. About half way through the post, I started to listening a Blues Brother play list. Really fun music.

Dreamhaven: No one asked my permission on the aging question either. I would have asked for a hall pass.

Linda: Hi, I'll be over to read your post on Mediumship soon. Your work fascinates me.

Ronda Laveen said...

Silver Fox: Thanks for the 411 on the acronyms and the Bush or chimp site. Can't wait.

Megan said...

I fell on the floor laughing at "no Pepsi...Coke" and I haven't gotten back up yet.

I've fallen and I can't get up!

Marianna said...

Hi Ronda! I loved the story though I don't really know the celebs involved...hmmm got to google now :)

Happy TT
xoxo

Mrsupole said...

Yes, Opie does look like MAD AL. And all the others you and the others have listed here. It is strange how that happens. I have even heard people say that David Letterman looks like him too. Then you do start to see it.

That was a great post and I have not joined AARP yet. They have too many lobbyists for my taste. I am always leary of lobbyists.

You know sometimes I have wondered how many more movies John Belushi would have made if he had lived. And would we have been able to handle them. All his movies would have you just holding your stomach cause you would be laughing so much. Such a great loss. So glad he came back for a few hours while you channeled him. It was fun.

God bless.

Sorry I am running late visiting everyone, I somehow hurt my shoulder again to bring the pain level back up to a very painful one and so to sit in front of a computer is painful. In 24 days now, they will be doing my surgery. I guess you could say the countdown has begun. But if it stops this pain or at least lessens it, I will be thankful. On a scale of 1 to 10, it is a 20. Very painful. Sigh.

Ronda Laveen said...

Megan: I think you just invented a new purpose for an old bracelt.

What John? Give her ten chocolate donuts? Okay. Here Megan, you heard the man, or did you?

Marianna: I am new to blogging and sometimes
forget the global scope. Being from Greece, you wouldn't know these people. Next time I will link for more 411. Do you know of Mick Jagger?

Sherry:

Ronda Laveen said...

Sherry: Yeah, I forgot about David Letterman. He does look like MAD Al. Glad you enjoyed hearing from John again. He did a lot in the short time he was here. Sorry you are in so much pain, You've been through a lot this summer. Hopefully the surgery will take care of it for you. Love and Light, R

books,coffee,etc.... said...

Hi! Ronda,
What can I say, but...LOL!!!!
very original and funny!
Personally, I think he (Alfred E Neuman) looks like David Letterman.
Thanks, for sharing! and I hope that you, and all the TT members, have a very pleasant Father's Day Weekend.
Take care!
DeeDee ;-D

books,coffee,etc.... said...

Hey! Ronda,...I guess that me and Mrsupole, are on the same wavelength!

Tom said...

that was not what i expected...where's the roof? Off the wall funny!

Ronda Laveen said...

Dee Dee: You and the Mrs. certainly on the same wavelength. Too funny!! Thanks for visiting.

Tom: Just for you, I try not to be predictable. The "roof" is about the 8th paragraph below MAD comic photo in really BIG letters so you couldn't miss it. Guess that didn't work. Happy TT.

tony said...

I will let you into a secret Ronda.whenever I feel worried about my age.I just dig out a current photo of Keith Richards!Suddenly i feel ok again!
Say 'HELLO' To Richie for Me!
Have A Fine Weekend Ronda.

C.M. Jackson said...

ronda--great post--I laughed and laughed some more--glad to hear John's keeping it real---I'm with Tony..as long as we have Keith we will be forever young! I'll be back-c

Jill said...

Oh how I loved John on SNL!!! That had me laughing about his toga flapping in the wind!
Clever twist on ROOF dear!!

I may have to look at a few OLD SNL clips tonight and re-visit John!!
Have a great weekend!

Jill

Liza said...

First, thanks for letting me know about the Mr. Linkey thing. I guess I should tell the admins. ROFL was also a hard one for me to figure out, but it means Roll On the Floor Laughing. See you next week.

lettuce said...

hah, thats funny.

d'you know, my first reaction to that magazine cover was that Ron Howard was looking rather young....

I recently watched the Blues Brothers with LG (14) - she LOVED it but it was such a trans-generational thing

It makes me laugh to think of me being 50 now. mostly. on a goo day.

Reya Mellicker said...

Wow! All the dots DO connect, don't they.

As for channeling, you never know who is going to come through.

Thanks for resolving some mysteries that might never have been resolved otherwise. WOW!

Betty said...

Fun post. Loved the 'roof' connection. Another one here who read MAD (when I could get hold of a copy) cos I thought it would make me look cool!

Ronda Laveen said...

Tony: Yeah, I thought Keith Richards was going to leave this planet 20 years ago, but he just keeps on a truckin'.

C.M.: Glad to have given you a chuckle.

Jill: Yes, those old SNL days were fun and I was so young then. I have great memories around those skits.

Liza: I'll let you know if I have anymore trouble accessing your site. Thanks for explaining ROFL.

Lettuce: Yes, with his ball cap on Ron still looks quite young. But the pictures in the article show him sans cap and not much hair left on his roof anymore.

Reya: It is always a surprise to me who gets info out of the Ethers and onto this plane. Mysterious, fun and funny things are happening now.

Betty: I think my favorite feature of MAD was Spy vs. Spy. I couldn't wait for each issue.

Evening Light Writer said...

Remember when I got sick and took that crazy cough syrup that the Doctor gave me and saw Jimi Hendrix in my room?? Is it on the same level as that? Are you tripping on something? What a funny, interesting post here..I never made the connection but the similarities are striking.

Ronda Laveen said...

Mindy: Yeah! It's just like you seeing Jimi but without the narco cough syrup. I have been trippin' but way out in the stratosphere.

tony said...

p.s. I like the new header!

Ronda Laveen said...

Thanks, Tony!