Tuesday, June 30, 2009

In the Moment



Our family will soon arrive from Minnesota. It has been nine years since my husband's older brother visited the left coast. Oh, we've been back to see them a number of times. We went to graduations. Attended the three weddings of my nieces. Celebrated the subsequent births of four nieces and nephews. All wonderful, happy events.


What caused my brother-in-law's lapse in return trips? I think it was the death of his mother. He hasn't been here since her funeral in the spring of 2000. It is easier to deny endings when you are not present.


What pushed the button for return to the homeland after 10 years? Perhaps the need to face the reality of death, the demise of the physical body. An older brother diagnosed and, successfully, treated for prostate cancer. A younger brother struck with a heart attack at 57. Both illnesses occurring within a couple of months of each other. A time for healing family scars.


I often admire animals. They have a brain. We have minds. There is a difference. We know what it means to our mortality when we are told that we have a fatal disease. All they know is the smell of a scent on the wind. Water to drink. Food to eat. They are in the moment with total unconcern for what is coming, good or bad. All in all, not such a bad existence, I think.


I'm looking forward to being in the moment with my family.

16 comments:

Candie Bracci said...

That was a moving post,and the last paragraph when you talk about animals and the difference there is,it's quite true.
I think this is what needs to be done,healing family scars.I wish it will go well and family will be reunited on even stronger grounds.

Mrsupole said...

Hi Ronda,

It is funny how a death of someone in the family can change things. My husband and I both faced changes with our families on each side due to a death. But the best thing is that we survive this change and move on. Time has healed it somewhat. I will hope that your family heals. All I can say is that bossy, older, controlling, sisters are not easy to deal with and so I hope brothers are easier to deal with. All the brothers on both sides are still close, so I know you all have a wonderful chance.

You are so right about animals, maybe in some ways they are smarter than us. Yes, being in the moment is the thing to do.

I like the wedding picture. Really pretty flowers in it and a nice looking couple.

Families are great, and lots of fun.

God bless.

Leah said...

I hope you have a really good "in the moment" time with your family--this was an exceptionally poignant post, Ronda--

Brian Miller said...

reality has a way of bringing you back to reality, or at least from the edge of denial. so much to worry about yesterday and anxious for tomorrow we lose today. hope you have a great time with your fam. in the moment.

subtorp77 said...

"The need to face the reality of death"; mayhaps that was one reason it took me almost 8 years to see Pop, again. Unfortunately what-ever family was left, has moved on to where-abouts unknown to me. And I can relate to the age here. Pop was 56( heart attack ). Too, I had a cousin this year, pass on from the same thing..at 38. Death doesn't have an age limit, does it?

Candie Bracci said...

I've tagged you,it probably will cheer you up.If you feel like and when you have time.There's no obligations.There was just say to tag 7 people I loved,so here we go..
:)

Marianna said...

Hey Ronda,

wonderful post, wise words in it...glad to be back! I missed blogging and you my fellow blogger :)

Hope you have a wonderful week
xoxo

Chris Wolf said...

Enjoy my homeland of Minnesota while you visit! There are many beautiful things to see here. It may feel really good to hear our accent, taste the food of "back home" and dip your toe in a lake. Peace to you in your returning,

otin said...

I hate thinking about ceasing to exist, it really really scares me. :(

Ronda Laveen said...

Candie: Thanks for making me feel like a queen!

Sherry: I'm not sure older, bossy brothers are any better. But the are still close. The couple in the picture is my neice, Carol.

Leah: Thanks. I felt poignant so am glad it showed.

Brian: You have such a way with words. And you seem never at a loss.

Subby: No, death doesn't have an age limit. It doesn't matter how long it took you to face pops. All that matters is that you did.

Marianna: I am so glad you are back. I missed you too.

Chris: Our Minnesota family is coming out to California. If we were heading out there, I would try to meet up with you. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law can't live far from you.

Otin: I am sure you will NEVER cease to exist.

Gemel said...

Have an utterly wonderful time with your family.

Baino said...

OH Rhonda, that's a long time between visits. I hope it restores his optimism. Life is indeed too short. I have an 'estranged' brother and whilst I keep in touch with his wife, I haven't seen nor heard from him in 4 years. I really hope your reunion is a happy one and all scars are healed. There is always time. Have a wonderful reunion (PS that bride looks awesome!)

Liza said...

Animals truly live in the now. We are merely trying to learn from them. Have a wonderful visit and it's wonderful that you can be there for him.

Greetings from Florida.

Ronda Laveen said...

Gemel: Thank you Gemel and I'm holding the best for Blossom.

Baino: Isn't funny how you can communicate with your brother's wife but not with him? It is time for the scars to heal. None of us are getting any younger. That is my beautiful neice, Carol. She was a Ford model for a bit in NY City. She still models, but locally in the Twin Cities area.

Liza: You are so right. As sophisticated as I often think I am over the animal kingdom. I am always learning from them. Have a happy 4th.

Megan said...

Enjoy the family and the holiday, dear Ronda. Hope it's not TOO hot up there. Tschuss!

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