Tuesday, December 29, 2009

In the Mood


I've been in the mood lately. A very domestic mood. But, don't tell the Wonder Husband. I really like him thinking that it's not my A-game. A woman is not as interesting as when she veils herself in a little mystery. Some women hide their shopping addictions, proclivities for ecstatic substances or sexual fantasies. Me? I hide my Martha Stewart moments.

I go in and out of domesticity like most people go in and out of bad moods. Don't get me wrong, after over 30 years of marriage, the Wonder Husband knows that I'm adept at making home and hearth. I just don't want him expecting it on a regular basis. Fix dinner? Not tonight, honey...I have a headache.

The truth is that there are times I really enjoy a good house cleaning rout or a day long, cooking extravaganza. But, just as often, I enjoy getting out in the world and knocking down some mega bucks. Or being the accountant and bookkeeper for both of our businesses. Or spending the day writing and living in a fantasy world of my making. Or maybe I need to get a massage, a pedicure, my hair done and an eye brow wax. I'm learning that a good brow shaping and the plucking of a few rebellious, downward growing, brow hairs can erase years. So it is with domesticity. After all, I am in my maintenance years and need to gain every advantage I can in every area I can.

I think it's good for a woman to keep herself from getting pigeon-holed into any particular role. I mean, I've been studying men for years and they are quixotic and hard to pin down. And now I know why. It can definitely be an advantage to the game of love. As a young wife, I was eager to be seen as a good home maker. I grew up in a generation that was infected with the tainted archetype of Donna Reed, the perfect wife. As a seasoned wife, I'm inoculating myself against that virus. No longer craving adulations for my culinary and domestic coups, I prefer to bask in anonymity.

So, that's why I'm sitting here seriously considering buying some take out containers and using them to present this beautiful meal I've prepared. Shh, mums the word. There'll be no tattling to the Wonder Husband about my tasty, little deception. Thankfully, he only sneaks over and reads my blog once in a while. Oh, yeah, and I can always tell he's been here by the little words he lets slip. He has his secrets, I have mine.

20 comments:

Brian Miller said...

lol. i too think that a little mystery is good, and shaking it up is never a bad thing...i dont know if the house cleaning bug has ever hit me..ok, maybe a few times.

subby said...

No worries...I won't tell a soul...as long as you've got the crab rangoons :P

I never could stand all the stero-typing that goes on...or is that...understand?

DUTA said...

I can perfectly understand a woman's dilemma of domesticity versus all the other areas of life. Your approach to this dilemma is rightand honest.

TechnoBabe said...

As a woman who has spent many years cleaning, ironing, cooking, chauffeuring, I have found those things do not make a memorable woman. You keep on with your subtle deceptions, they are done in the name of love, and in return you are rewarded ten fold. Nice title for this post.

Who Is Tim Burton? said...

Hi! Ronda,
This is a very thought-provoking post and I enjoyed reading it thoroughly. I'am at a lost for words...right now. Because I'am single and just now learning the fine art of baking bread.

Therefore, I may not be able to relate to your situation yet, but I get the "gist" of what you are saying...loud and clear.

Thanks, for sharing and I hope that you and your family have a safe, peaceful and Happy New Year!
DeeDee ;-D

Ronda Laveen said...

Brian: Now I'm LOL. I know all about the housekeeping bug not bitting the male species. In fact, I keep trying to sick it on the Wonder Husband but he always seems to run faster.

Subby: When it comes to stereotyping, I think it is both "stand and understand." Crab Rangoons? Wow, now there's a great idea.

DUTA: You have very concisely stated in one phrase the point it took me an entire post to make. "...woman's dilemma of domesticity versus all the other areas of life." That is PRECISELY the dilemma. Well done!

TechnoBabe: You are so right, the chores do not make the woman.

DeeDee: Bread making is a fine art. It can be fun and highly rewarding. For a while, I helped one of best friend's out in the school cafeteria. She taught me to make bread, rolls and cinnamon rolls for 500 people at a time. I loved it. I don't think there is anything wrong with domesticity, I just think life is better when there is balance. Happy New Year's too you too! It is so good to read you on the blogging circuit again.

Ronda Laveen said...

I am always impressed by the collecion of wisdom I find in the bloggin community. Cheers to you all!

Baino said...

OH goodness I hear you. I've always been a good cook. Comes of cooking for a family of six while my mother went back to midwifery and I used to think it the most romantic thing ironing business shirts when I first got married, or hanging tiny jumpsuits and nappies on the line. Boy did that wear thin after the first month! I do get the spring cleaning bug now and then and frankly I'm about to get into a cupboard tidying frenzy before the heat sets in but . . . then again, Sherlock Holmes is on at the movies so . . .damn Librans, never can make up their minds.

Stephanie said...

I envy you your Martha Stewart side - I can't decorate worth beans. I try...

Ronda Laveen said...

Baino: I totally remember the ironing thing. I loved seein all those wrinkles disappear and how they looked all fresh, crisp and lined up on hangers. Still enjoy a good iron now and then...but only now and then. I'm getting ready for an assault on those cupboard shelves myself. Let me know about Sherlock Holmes, looks like it will be good.

Stephanie: Decorating is one of those mysterious things. I have friends that can just whip it out. Me? I have to work at it over and over again.

Christina said...

What a great post, Ronda! :D
I laughed and laughed because I can totally relate.
I've given up on domesticity for the most part - cooking and especially cleaning just make me too angry. I do have a Martha Steward buried deep inside of me, too, though. But she's too scared to come out.
So go ahead and get those Chinese take-out boxes, you can never be too careful in these matters. Haha!

Megan said...

Oh, you MINX!

Seriously, Ronda, sometimes I think the phrase joie de vivre was invented just for you. Except it's been around too long for such a young lady as you are.

Keep him guessing, I say!

Ronda Laveen said...

Christina: Yep, Martha's only allowed out on special occasions these days. And you are so right, one can never be too careful in these matters.

Megan: Would it surprise you to know that I've been around longer than the phrase joie de vivre? I told you I'm in my maintenance years.

Mrsupole said...

I think it is best to always keep them guessing. Sometimes I feel like cleaning, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like cooking, most times I don't. And I never feel like ironing. I do wish I felt like organizing. Sigh. But I do always feel like procrastinating and that is my downfall.

But tonight I was over at the SmittenKitchen and scrolling through the recipes, so I was thinking that maybe I might feel like cooking, but then again maybe I just like to think about cooking. Yup, just thinking is enough for me. Another sigh.

God bless.

PS...what did you actually cook for dinner? It sounded good whatever it was.

Candie Bracci said...

Yeah I'm the same!I have my moments too!
I hope you are having a nice holiday season and I'm wishing all the best for 2010!Only the best!:)

Dorraine said...

Mum's the word! I won't tell your hubby if you don't tell mine. I do love the way you think, Ronda. I've been sneaking around for years, playing different roles and all the while enjoying myself immensely. One dimensional characters don't suit most people. Got to keep life spiced up if we can. And we can. Wink..wink!

otin said...

Then he will say, "Ronda, I want some more that takeout food that we had last night, It was really good, where did you get it?"

Hummina Hummina Hummina!

Happy New Years! One of these days I am gooing to call and make an appointment, or at least say hello!

Joanna Jenkins said...

You are the greatest! "I hide my Martha Stewart moments." That is perfect-- and very good advice! I'm going to give it a try in 2010.

Happy New Year

Ronda Laveen said...

Sherry: When you bring up liking to look up the recipes at Smitten Kitchen but not really wanting to cook, the Wonder Husband said that he saw on tv that most people who watch the cooking channels have no itention of really cooking. They just like watching other do it. I made grilled prawns, lemon spaghetti, a large, green salad with and warm french bread. Mmmm...

Candie: I'm sure you do have your moments. The best to you in 2010.

Ronda Laveen said...

Dorraine: Your secret is safe with me. I am a very confidential person. Play roles! That is exactly right. I WANT it ALL! Life is so much better with a little spice!

Otin: OMG! I never thought about him wanting to order that meal somewhere else. I guess you can see I'm not that good at deception. Call anytime, Otin.

Joanna: I think you might have a hard time hiding your Martha Moments. I've seen the table you like to set. It would make Martha jealous! Happy New Year to you, too.