Thursday, December 24, 2009

Ronda Has Horns Beneath Her Halo


Just thought I'd sing you a little Christmas carol. Yes, the song is about me. To my friends, I've long been the object of admiration and adoration. See how they laud my many abilities and capabilities?

(sung to the tune 'Deck the Halls')


Ronda is a workaholic, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She's always at Smith Chiropractic, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Patients come and patients go, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Still she's there with her hello, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Most people think she has a halo, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la
Big and bright and shining yellow, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
But she has horns that grow below it, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
And there're times when she will show it, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

She is turning 50 soon, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Her insurance rates will zoom, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
In the mail she'll find an AARP card, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Still, she'll plant in her back yard,Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Yin and B.B. are her friends, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Randy pinches when she bends, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She teaches her nephews bad things, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Such as lap and pole dances, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

She was great as Mrs. Claus, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
The kids thought that she was from Mars, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Give her just a bit of Schnapps, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Just keep her away from cops, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

All in all, she's quite the woman, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She massages boobs and tusches, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
For all kinds of weird patients, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
But she does it with such graciousness, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la


Since I am closer to 60 than 50 now and I am long gone from Smith Chiropractic, this was written about 8 or 9 years ago. It was written and sung to me by my friends as they passed the Sacred Unicorn unto my keeping. You don't know the legend of the Sacred Unicorn? Ah, that is a story for another time.

Until then...Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

28 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oh, dont leave wihtout the unicorn story...pout.

what a delightful song...watch out for those cops...and so cool it was written by friends...makes it extra special. have a great holiday ronda!

Santa Claus said...

I know that you are a bad girl sometimes!

DUTA said...

Well with this cheerful song you are well into the Christmas spirit.
Merry Christmas to you!

TechnoBabe said...

Fun song! Now that you are past 50 and heading to 60, you understand even more that we are indeed getting older and better, right???
You rock, Ronda!!!!!!

Mrsupole said...

Great song. And massaging boobs and tusches, that is so funny.

Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas, oh and stay away from the cops and Schnapps.

God bless.

Stephanie said...

Lovely. Merry Christmas to you!

Leah said...

Happy holidays to you, Ronda! Your song made me smile...

xo

Mary said...

AHHHH - saving Santa the trip ?

Megan said...

That's a great song! You are truly wonderful, Ronda!

colbymarshall said...

*giggle* love the song! And I love the froggie in the pic ;-)

Ronda Laveen said...

Brian: Sorry, the Unicorn story will have to wait for another day. It would make too long of a post and I really need to find the pictures to make it pop. I shall, indeed, watch out for the cops!

Santa: Are you peeking?

DUTA: Yep, I am starting to get into the spirit of the holiday. Merry Christmas to you too!

TechnoBabe: I really do understand that old adage of "getting better, not older." Maybe your husband would like to sing it at one of his holiday gigs?

Sherry: Merry Christmas to you too. Do I really have to stay away from the Schnapps?

Stephanie: Thanks, Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Ronda Laveen said...

Megan: Ah, Megan! Love you too. xxoo

Ronda Laveen said...

Colbym: Isn't that froggie cute? He is on one the cutely decorated shelves at the salon I work in. I couldn't resist taking his photo.

Ronda Laveen said...

Leah: Happy to brighten your day. Blessings and give Hedgie a hug for me.

Mary: Yes, indeed! Happy holidays!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Love the song!!!

Hope your Christmas is wonderful and your New Year even better!

Cheers,
xo

Ronda Laveen said...

Joann: Cheers and happy holidays to you and your family!

Skip Simpson said...

Merry Christmas, Ronda! I'll toast in your honour tomorrow!

Ronda Laveen said...

Skip: And I to yours! Merry Christmas.

subby said...

Such wonderful friends to do this! Merry Christmas, Ronda :)

CatLadyLarew said...

Happy Christmas, Ronda! Can't wait to hear about the Sacred Unicorn... sounds right up my alley!

Ronda Laveen said...

Subby: Yes, they are wonderful friends. Merry Christmas to you too!

CatLady: Happy Christmas and I look forward to telling you the Unicorn story.

Who Is Tim Burton? said...

Merry Christmas!
Ronda,and I hope that you and your family have a safe and pleasant...New Year too!
Ronda, that Christmas song was too funny!
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D

Jill said...

OH! I am laughing! THAT WAS A MOST EXCELLENT song!

Merry Christmas Ronda!

Bachelor said...

Hi Tthere Rhonda,
Hope you had a nice Christmas. Fa la la la la la la la la... Cool... Happy New Year!
The Bach

Marianna said...

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Health and happiness to you and your family Ronda!!
xoxo

JGH said...

Definitely a classic worth "digging out" Ronda! Too funny.

Hope you're enjoying some holiday "unwinding" time this week.

Ronda Laveen said...

DeeDee: Happy holidays to you too. Glad you enjoyed the carol.

Jill: I have some pretty funny friends.

Bach: Wishing you a Fa la la la laing New Year.

Marianna: Great to hear from you! Where've you been?

JGH: You are very perceptive. I did have to dig that carol out of a deep, dark file. And, I am enjoying some unwinding time.

Dot-Com said...

He he, I've just been singing your song! Hope you had a great Christmas, and all the best wishes for the new year.