Ronda Has Horns Beneath Her Halo

Just thought I'd sing you a little Christmas carol. Yes, the song is about me. To my friends, I've long been the object of admiration and adoration. See how they laud my many abilities and capabilities?

(sung to the tune 'Deck the Halls')

Ronda is a workaholic, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She's always at Smith Chiropractic, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Patients come and patients go, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Still she's there with her hello, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Most people think she has a halo, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la
Big and bright and shining yellow, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
But she has horns that grow below it, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
And there're times when she will show it, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

She is turning 50 soon, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Her insurance rates will zoom, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
In the mail she'll find an AARP card, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Still, she'll plant in her back yard,Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Yin and B.B. are her friends, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Randy pinches when she bends, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She teaches her nephews bad things, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Such as lap and pole dances, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

She was great as Mrs. Claus, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
The kids thought that she was from Mars, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Give her just a bit of Schnapps, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Just keep her away from cops, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

All in all, she's quite the woman, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
She massages boobs and tusches, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
For all kinds of weird patients, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
But she does it with such graciousness, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Since I am closer to 60 than 50 now and I am long gone from Smith Chiropractic, this was written about 8 or 9 years ago. It was written and sung to me by my friends as they passed the Sacred Unicorn unto my keeping. You don't know the legend of the Sacred Unicorn? Ah, that is a story for another time.

Until then...Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!