Sunday, February 21, 2010

Trading Places

A random universe? I think not. Would a random universe send me to a baby shower and a funeral on the same day? Back to back?

LeeLee glitters and brightens all around her. Even if you don't see auras, you can see this...her golden glow. Folding her hands across her unborn babe, lying solid and low in her belly, an intimate smile, in Mona Lisa fashion, softens her face.

G.G.'s absence is marked by old photographs, the bookmarks of one's life. Her still body, dulled and grayed in death's pallor, has been high-fired into bone-chipped powder. No more smiles for G.G. Or frowns either.

One life arriving.

One life leaving.

One mirroring hope and happiness.

The other, loss and sadness.

Gifts and Games.

Tissues and tears.

I can only imagine the Big Gal Upstairs coordinating these events:

Little go on into the body of Baby Isabelle. Old come on out of that used up, tumor ridden body and rest for a spell. Put your feet up, or what used to be your feet, while we talk about how you'll next come back to work on your karma.

Cosmic orchestration is intense. Wedding Planners and Air Traffic Controllers have it easy in comparison.

Everyone is happy to welcome the new baby...a new life...a blank slate open for great accomplishments and outcomes.

G.G.? Well, sad to say she made a lot of people miserable during her long life. I know it's not right to speak ill of the dead but, she didn't treat people well, especially family. It is what it is. She was who she was. To say it was not so would be lying. Which is worse?

She was Le Grand Bitch. Oh, not my words but those of her children and close family members who were with her through her last sucked breath. I know what they were talking about though. I witnessed G.G.'s reign of terror on many occasions. But even so, there were tears shed at her passing and the transition was hard. A memorial, that she didn't want, was held, anyway, with meat, cheese and veggie trays and salads and carrot cake.

There were a few people she'd made happy during her reign. I overheard them telling the family so. The family, gracious to the last, nodded, comforted and thanked them for their stories and memories.

G.G. left behind a husband who doesn't even know she's gone. Doesn't know his own name. Doesn't even remember that she existed. They told him she had passed. He doesn't know the difference between G.G.'s death and stuffed eggplant.

Still, the day a person takes their first breath and begins pumping blood is marked, as is their last. Two souls trading places in a universe less random than we think.

Would you care for some potato salad or a piece of carrot cake while you make the switch? Not going to be food like this, for either of you, for a long time.


subby said...

For each death there is a birth, yes?

"Our birth is nothing but our death begun, as tapers waste the moment they take fire."~~Edward Young

NanU said...

I'm glad you had a memorial for GG. Such events are for the living, not those passed on. And it's right to say it as it was, though with no more rancor than necessary. It's an airing out and a letting go and a moving on. Making healthy room for the little one.

Mrsupole said...

Seems like you had a long day.

It does make one wonder if they pass by each other and say hello when one is leaving and one is arriving.

Very sad when someone is disliked by everyone around them. Maybe at one time she was a very nice person and just changed due to the circumstances with dealing with her husband's problems. At least a few people who she was nice to.

A new baby, a new hope, a new beginning, so much to look forward to. That is a day for rejoicing.

God bless.

Lorenzo said...

Wonderful post Ronda. Words spoken with such honesty and eagerness to explore how we come to terms with the events of our lives should never cause offence to anyone. Just the opposite.

Gemel said...

That was beautiful, bless your heart.

It is amazing how the Universe plans things in our lives, how one is given and one taken away at the same time, the happiness of the birth to comfort the passing of another, even if she was a difficult woman, she will have her peace now, perhaps she held inside a lot of pain from a trauma that happened long ago and she never knew the way to heal herself, so the only way she could feel better was to lash out at others bless her heart she will be now able to leave it all behind and in time the family will heal the past and move forward into their tomorrows...

otin said...

The circle of life is constant. It scares me to know that I am past the 180 degree point on the circle.

Realliveman said...

Nice blog! I will be back for more.

Brian Miller said...

it is the cycle of life...we mourn that no more memories will come but celebrate those we had...and i love new full of posibility.

Jai Joshi said...

Some days the cycle of life makes itself more obvious than other days. I'm sorry for your loss and happy for your gain.

Best wishes,


Stephanie said...

Oh I like subby's Edward Young quote. It gave me pause.

Sorry for you loss.

And congratulations on your soon arriving baby!

TechnoBabe said...

You served it up graciously: This is life. We come and we go. I particularly like when you say "Cosmic orchestration is intense. Wedding Planners and Air Traffic Controllers have it easy in comparison." Great way to say it.
You sound tired. I know you put forth energy at both events. Because you are like that.

Ronda Laveen said...

Subby: Yes! Your Young quote is perfect:-)

NanU: The memorial was quite nice and did give chance for airing out on many levels. Yes, it was healthy and healing.

Sherry: It was a very long day as I worked before those two events. G.G. had great sadness in her heart. She fought it all her life but it always was too heavy for her. The baby shower was very sweet.

Lorenzo: Thank you for those beautiful comfortable words.

Gemel: She had a sadness in her heart she could not overcome. Almost too much to have come from this lifetime alone. She will have her peace and rest and healing now.

Ronda Laveen said...

Otin: I know what you mean about being past that 180 degree mark...probably closer to 270.

Realliveman: Welcome to the Wonderland. Come back any time.

Brian: I like that thought...we mourn that no more memories will come.

Jai: That circle is more evident at certain times than others isn't it?

Stepahnie: Thank you. That quote is quite perfect.

TechnoBabe: I was tired but am getting some rest today. Thanks for saying that I was gracious. I thought it might be too much.

Dorraine said...

Experiencing the full circle of life in one day-I see why it brought such reflective thoughts.

Life is short. And the Edward Young quote Subby posted sums it up. I had to read that a few times. It's beautiful and sad. Just like your day.

Both birth and death are really just new beginnings, don't you think?

Ronda Laveen said...

Dorraine: I most certainly agree with you that both birth and death are new beginnings. On a day like yesterday, it slaps you in the face.

Felicitas said...

No, not random at all, my friend. A terrific post!

Christina said...

Holy shmoly, what a great post!

Love the honesty and the way you see things. Let's hope we don't get jaded like G.G. I find that to be the worst: getting bitter.

I also find Edward Young's quote quite fitting.

Plus: great new profile picture! Love it!

Ronda Laveen said...

Felicitas: Doesn't seem to random to me anymore either.

Christina: I always wonder how people get so bitter and disillusioned. Sad, really. Glad you like my new profile picture. The Wonder Husband told me my old one looked like a mug shot. He was right but it was the only one I had.

Eternally Distracted said...

I think that is the best piece of writing I have ever read on this here blog. Your described everything perfectly.

Baino said...

Exellent honesty Ronda and an awesome post. I don't see why we have to wait until someone passes before saying nice things about them or disparaging them frankly. Talk to me straight while I'm here and don't be maudlin when I'm fertilising the land please. Still, a life is a life and I'm sorry she is no more. As for the n00b, a blank slate indeed.

jinksy said...

I like Kahlil Gebran's take on this. He said 'Every end is a new beginning'...

Nessa said...

Both transitions are so stressful for everyone. I hope the new baby has more success than GG although she did manage to keep her family around her.

Mad Hatter

Dave King said...

A random universe? I think not. Would a random universe send me to a baby shower and a funeral on the same day? Back to back? Yup, I think that's exactly what a random universe would do!

Rinkly Rimes said...

What a very interesting piece! And told so sparingly that the impact is enhanced. I never know why we don't speak ill of the dead! I'd hate y children to stand up and tell the world I was an angel when I'd enjoyed being a devil all along! I'd haunt them!

Ronda Laveen said...

Baino: I agree wholeheartedly.

Jinksy: I'd forgotten that part on The Prophet.

Nessa: You are right...both birth and death are stressful.

Mad Hatter: Hi.

Dave: point taken.

Rinkly: You are so funny. I never thoght about it in reverse.

KB said...

A positive way to lok at a funeral. I enjoyed this post very much.

DUTA said...

You sum it all up very accurately and sharply: "Two souls trading places"- one arriving, one leaving.
Condolences for your Loss, Congrats on the Gain, the new born baby!

Reya Mellicker said...

This is so powerful, Ronda. I could "see" you standing at the Gate while souls (not just the baby's and GG's) passed in and out right in front of your face.

It's exhausting to get up so close to the mysteries, at least it is for me. Thank you for articulating so perfectly that sense of frightening awe at the reality of all things. Bravo!

Ronda Laveen said...

KB: Thank you.

DUTA: Life is a balance, yes? It's been a roller coaster of a week.

Reya: Yes, being so close to the mysteries is exhausting but also exhilirating. Kind of like yin and yang. And, you are right, the power is so strong. Sometimes hard to not get carried away.